The Final Dawning

My post of the Charlotte's Web song reminded me of a poem I wrote a good while back that I titled "Carry on". I looked through a bunch of my old papers but couldn't find it. If I do find it, maybe I'll revise it and post it.

But I did find a poem that illustrates why I'm glad I decided to listen to people that could give me pointers on improving my stuff.

It's funny. I wrote "if you read through all that then I am amazed" at the end of the poem when I originally posted it. If I only knew then how true those words were. Anyway, watch out for the overuse of cliches, adjectives and more (lots, lots more):

Perplexed, in half sleep half awake like fashion,
I began recalling each detail of a dream which troubled me.
Before the frail misty wisps of ephemeral memories could pass,
I yanked the fragile web, holding tight, keeping my grasp.

Strangely enough the vision was not my own,
A pair of green-blue eyes made up my entity.
Partaking in a voyage where the passage was granted
by a beseechment of another.

We set sail on the river Styx that clear sky filled night,
Giving up our tokens to the outstretched hands of an undead spirit
whose boney like structure took the oars in hand and guided us
to a land where death and decay were joint rulers in primeval sands.

And all the while I knew not the mission, nor the goal
in this disenchanted, morose place, which was coming upon us fast.
The Other was content, hopes held high never unwavering,
For the one that was Taken called to him sweetly as the siren.
Every night of every year passed she waited for rescue
In the castle of Hades a prisoner Death never intended to give back.

Many times he tried to make the journey alone,
Yet the maze was unforgiving in its labryinth so tangled,
Thanatos was crafty never keeping it the same,
For no one could cheat him, he was master at his game so spitefully final. But that didn't keep the hero from trying, he would undermine Death, take back what was stolen and knock down the barricade as well.

And so this time my eyes went with him,
Seeking out each new danger, conveying it with my stare uncanny.
We explored each precipice, each cavern, each chasm,
Until at last we entered the stone like structure that had captured
her unwilling.

And here my tale ends for that is when I awoke,
Back to the land of the living, feeling nothing but quiet despair,
He had won again, Forcing on us the early morns new light,
I could hear the evil laughter as slumber was shaken from my wearisome body.

I know the Hero's soul will most certainly never rest,
Until the maiden is stolen back from Death so unfair.
And if I ever dream this same dream once more,
It will also be my quest forever to plunder the Taker's lair.

10/14/93