Parched

Much of the news has always made me sad.
Fighting here, fighting there and silly
hates based on fear. Sometimes
coming together for a cause and then only
temporarily.

I try to help but I'm so bloody
tired and yes, I know I'm whiny. I wish
there were five of me or a way to undo
a few years of homekeeping mistakes. I wish
I could convert the just-get-by mentality of living
to work being fun. I'm trying.

I'm working to mend my faulty
systems, working on a sturdy net
to catch my falls
but I lack knowledge.

So it's toil, toil, toil...
Calluses, torn skin and less time
for us, pretty thoughts and fun.

Some patience, good know-how and
maintenance should ease the hard use
of elbow grease.

I'll try. Perhaps it'll be just fine.

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Just words, too many ideas that could be more than one poem, no cohesion, lack of a metaphor to hang it all on, and nearly zero poetry. Mostly prose with line breaks in places where they shouldn't be. Again, nearly all tell and no show.

A brainstorming of ideas, thoughts, and feelings that could lead to a poem.

It does make me want to look up different kinds of poems of which I'm ignorant. Lyric, Narrative, Drama etc. I need to know the precise definitions. I have but a general sense of the definitions. It also makes me wonder if after a possible extensive revision if it should be put into a form or not.

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I've come back to this 6 hours later and my first thought was that I couldn't believe I posted it here because it had outward qualities of being very bad. It very probably has inward qualities (the ideas that are being written about) that make one look at it and react with an "It's silly." or "Yeah, well, and..." or "Go tell your N to whine in their diary.". Oh well.

It started off as a bunch of words on paper, then it was pared down and changed quite a bit. Now it seems to me to be like the beginning stages of a sketch, like I should fill much of it in with more detail and perhaps some color after it has been worked on because parts of it are too vague.

Maybe. Knowing me, It'll just end up as what it is and not get revised at all. Bleh. Maybe it would just be better if it wasn't a poem and instead turned into sentences and paragraphs.

But I do like some things about the third and fourth strophes.

Anyway, I'll shut up now.