Old High School Stuff (with some minor complaining at the end, so beware)

Right now I'm in high school. I'm sitting in a chair near the back of the room in Honors American History. I'm only partially paying attention to the priest who is lecturing and writing pertinent things down on the overhead projector. Instead, I'm slacking off, like I always seem to be doing. I'm staring out the window, I'm looking at how other girls did their hair that day, I'm listening to other people's conversations, I'm looking at shapes and structures of arms and necks and ears and I'm wishing I could draw better. I'm wondering how some of the people that are sitting in those desks manage to get the best grades, have time to be cheerleaders, be on many different sports teams, and belong to the different after school clubs, hold jobs etc.

I would always wonder how they could make it all work.

I have never managed time wisely. In kindergarten I got the equivalency of an F for "Uses time Wisely". In high school, some years my grades were great, other years they sucked (though some subjects were always easy). But if I was participating in a sport or working at a job I had a harder time trying to balance everything without feeling like a mess or a slacker. So I've always admired people that seemed to be able to do it all.

I also admire the sorts of people that know how to manage others very well(managing others is something I'm not really good at). I liked working at the bookstore, hallmark shop, clothes store as a normal employee but every time I was asked to be a manager, I felt panicky and didn't like being in that position. Maybe it's that I never felt comfortable taking on a position with more supposed authority, maybe it had to do with extra responsibility or trying to delegate tasks, or I don't know.

These days I manage time a little bit better, though not as efficiently as I could be doing, and try not to let the stress get to me as much (though it still does but I am working on it). Though it becomes harder when another responsibility appears, and then another, and then another.

So: delegate, delegate, delegate. Use proper modulation via voice. Yeah. Life'll be better when I learn these things and how to properly make a list (or even make a list for the day) that doesn't contain too many things on it so I don't feel like nothing got accomplished after only two things are crossed off for that day and I either quit and feel like a slacker or overwork myself and become tired and also have my family become sad at me.

Song for the day:

Nina Simone's "Don't let me be Misunderstood"